The ABCs of Irrational Beliefs

Wikipedia does a great job explaining the basics of cognitive therapy, and specifically how one can use the ABCs of Irrational Beliefs to change your thinking and behavior:

“A major aid in cognitive therapy is what Albert Ellis called the ABC Technique of Irrational Beliefs.^[1] The first three steps analyze the process by which a person has developed irrational beliefs and may be recorded in a three-column table.

• A – Activating Event or objective situation. The first column records the objective situation, that is, an event that ultimately leads to some type of high emotional response or negative dysfunctional thinking.

• B – Beliefs. In the second column, the client writes down the negative thoughts that occurred to him or her.

• C – Consequence. The third column is for the negative disturbed feelings and dysfunctional behaviors that ensued. The negative thoughts of the second column are seen as a connecting bridge between the situation and the distressing feelings. The third column C is next explained by describing emotions or negative thoughts that the client thinks are caused by A. These could be anger, sorrow, anxiety, etc.

For example, Gina is upset because she got a low mark on a math test. The Activating event, A, is that she failed her test. The Belief, B, is that she must have good grades or she is worthless. The Consequence, C, is that Gina feels depressed.

• Reframing. After irrational beliefs have been identified, the therapist will often work with the client in challenging the negative thoughts on the basis of evidence from the client’s experience by reframing it, meaning to re-interpret it in a more realistic light. This helps the client to develop more rational beliefs and healthy coping strategies.

From the example above, a therapist would help Gina realize that there is no evidence that she must have good grades to be worthwhile, or that getting bad grades is awful. She desires good grades, and it would be good to have them, but it hardly makes her worthless. If she realizes that getting bad grades is disappointing, but not awful, and that it means she is currently bad at math or at studying, but not as a person, she will feel sad or frustrated, but not depressed. The sadness and frustration are likely healthy negative emotions and may lead her to study harder from then on.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

Add a comment November 6, 2007

Changing my B’s so my C’s are Healthier

My therapist suggested to me a few months ago that I begin analyzing my beliefs and challenging them using cognitive behavioral therapy. Wikipedia does a good job explaining CBT: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

Essentially, when an event occurs, my beliefs — the thoughts that I have regarding the event — cause my emotional reaction to that event. In order to change my emotional reaction, it is necessary to challenge my beliefs and thoughts to create a better emotional response.

On Sunday, I felt very sluggish. I spent a rare day sitting around watching television for the most part. This made me feel slightly ashamed, but not enough to get up & change what I was doing. I did spend a good amount of time preparing several new dishes for dinner. DS didn’t care for the squash and rice, although he did try a bite of each, and he ended up only eating meat and drinking milk. DH stated that DS should eat more than just meat for his meal. I immediately felt defensive and angry and hurt, and told DH that it would be nice if he noticed the effort I put into dinner instead of criticizing my parenting. DH in turn got angry and said he said no such thing (which of course he hadn’t). I was able to calm down quickly and apologized and told him he was right, DS should eat more for dinner, and that my defensiveness stemmed from my fears for my children. He was kind and that was the end of the little altercation. I find myself puzzled though, about why I reacted so strongly to such a harmless comment by him, so I’m going to try and apply CBT to figure out how I can do better next time.

(A) Event: DH wanted DS to eat a fruit or veggie with dinner.

(B) Belief: I am a bad parent. I don’t feed my children well. I don’t pay enough attention to them. I am too lenient. I am lazy and should’ve done more to give DS something he likes. DS will have bad eating habits all of his life because of me.

(C) Emotional Consequence: Shame. Defensiveness. Anger. Shame shame shame.
Now in order to change the inappropriate emotional reaction I had to DH’s benign statement, I need to replace those (B) statements with healthy ones. Next time I start telling myself I’m a bad parent, I’m going to yell STOP and say this instead:

NEW (B) Belief: I am a good parent. DS and DD are strong and healthy and well fed with home-cooked meals.

Honestly, I’m a little skeptical how this is going to work. Intellectually it makes sense, that the way I talk to myself results in the emotional feelings that I have. The complication is that most of the time, when I’m berating myself like this, I don’t even want to stop. I believe I deserve it and there isn’t any part of me that wants to make myself feel better. I believe the things I’m saying to myself. I suppose that’s where the affirmations come in — I need to say affirmations to myself over and over again, with faith that at some point they will feel real.

Add a comment November 6, 2007